Friends

All of us have them. Many of us think they have them. Some of us have more online friends than real friends and even if they might create that false closeness, they will be just online friends that will never replace those “real” friends.

This post is dedicated to those “real” friends that slowly but surely are disappearing due this modern society that we are living in, that despite being more open, and being more connected, it’s actually more closed.  One of the many mysteries and paradoxes of life. Strange is this life. It’s dedicated to all of us out there, that have that real friend, that felt that connection and that know how hard is to find that real friend that is close to you and that you know that you can trust about anything and everything. That you understand them without any words said. That you just look at them and you know what they are thinking about. You relate to their feelings, to their current state of mind. You share happiness and sadness together. Virtually everything. Lastly you grow together every single day.

For us, the perfectionists and idealists that best best friend is your husband/wife the one you love the most. Isn’t that one if not the greatest goal in life? The whole adventure of not just being with that person but also the first moments of meeting them, building emotions with them and exploring life with them. The beauty of life, one of its many, is that before finding that person, and even after, you need “other” friends. Friends that you respect and enjoy every single moment with them when you are with them. A non-romantic love, a different kind of love. They say, and they are probably right, that those type of friends last forever. Or should.

This weekend I was strongly reminded that some friendships, do last forever indeed. My best friend, that I know for 10 years that lived in Italy and left it recently, came to visit me over the weekend. He was already tired when he came, because he had travelled before quite a lot. Obviously I was really happy to see him and I did my best to be the perfect host for the limited time he was visiting Milan, and due to his tiredness I tried to organize the time, so that I don’t ”overburn” him, like for example going out to a bar and staying to 3 am, meeting and going out with girls on a Saturday night, knowing that we had to wake up at 5:30 AM on a Sunday, because he had to catch his flight. Nonetheless best moments in life last shortly. And I will come back to that popular phrase later. But as I was happy to see him, I immediately knew that after his departure, I will miss him. Because he is one of those real friends that you either get to know in your or you don’t. The days and time during his stay in Milan elapsed absurdly fast. We talked about many things. As if from when I saw him last, nothing changed. We knew that we changed, and we talked why and in what way we changed, but you know that someone is your best friend, when you need to talk little, and you understand each other perfectly. The silence is welcomed sometimes. Because it clears your mind. It helps you evolve and build connections. I was reminded that he respects me really and I reminded him that I really respect him through simple actions. Like for example, he told me that he wants to take a walk, but only with me after 6PM, because he is tired of all the other. We ended up staying till 11PM yesterday night. Checking out girls, not hitting on them, because I knew that he was super tired already. Even if he wanted to end up with someone, I stopped him, with an “order” that when he comes out again in June, revitalized, we will go out to concerts and we will do much more. I ended up waking up at 5:30 and going with him at 7 AM to the main train station  to say the difficult goodbye. And out of huge respect, we knew that both of us were sad, but we didn’t say a word about sadness. Sometimes those seconds of sadness and that tap on the shoulders and the short hug, mean much much more than millions of tears.

As I said, best moments in life last shortly. But maybe not as short. I already stated that I know him for 10 years. And I am grateful and really happy that I know him and that I was able to meet him. And that he was always there for me. Even when he was not physically present. And I know that he will continue to be. Because now I surely deduced that even if we don’t hang out on a regular basis, that friendship is everlasting.

Men are different than woman. We might not share as many emotions and much words, but at moments I in a friendship between guys the empathy can be stronger. Which doesn’t reduce girls/women friendships. It’s just different. Both genders have their own ways. and both of those ways are equally beautiful.

Thank you dude, I dedicate this post to you because rock and remember to never change because of any other one. No matter how hard life is, no matter how emotionally difficult sometimes life can be, we both know that life is beautiful and remember to try to be a bit more optimistic because it’s an. Respect your own values, your choices, don’t reduce them, and cherish them, because for the best things in life you need to wait, even though you might wait a long time, life has its own ways of acting for the best of us.

A final note for all of you out there, try to find that best, that real friend, and try to prolong those beautiful moments in life so that they are not short. Your life is yours and you command it. There is no such thing as destiny. Only different choices. Respect others and respect yourself. Love others and love yourself. Share your life with others, and don’t be afraid of that. Because it’s a great feeling. The likes of us that have those best friends, and that have experienced those moments, know what I am talking about.

 

 

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Emotions

Sometimes, it’s very hard to look at reality, to notice it, and to realise that things are actually happening. I wish everything was just a dream that I can wake up from. I wish I can wake up, not thinking about everything that had happened, and be so strong, that I can just forget about everything. Or decide that I will forget it, after a certain period of time. One thing I know for sure, is that I can’t disjoint things and situations easily. I can’t easily be focused about something completely, and not thinking about the world that crumbled in a course of month, despite resolving many other things in my life, but the only thing that I had thought was stable and it won’t shatter, it did broke. The frames of the place I though was my home, broke, and all of the rooms inside feel empty, unprotected and missing that crucial link. That reality, is troubling me, and I don’t have the manual for resolving that imposed reality that caught me so off guard, and didn’t let me prepare for the fall. I don’t know what to think of people anymore. I never believed my family truly, because they all have their perks, I rarely have any friends that I really believe in, but they are just my friends at the end, they can help me, but they can’t form that reality, the new one in which I will see the world as a beautiful place again. A world where I will see people again and smile to honestly.  World where when I see a homeless person sleeping with his dog on the street, I will smile because that bond is so unique and in some cases better than a human to human bond. A world where I will have the hope again, that I am not alone out there, that there exists someone that I will be whole again. That hope at this moment is completely gone, and the worst part about it, is that I couldn’t have any real say in it.Like when the snow leopard mom wanders one day alone and leaves her kid to find his way in the high peaks of the Himalayas. Can we compare that with humans? Are we savages then? To have the audacity to decide that, and live in the wilderness again, to be ”free”? Are we an emotionless creatures who can manipulate and trick love and promises, cheat on eternity, for the sole reason of feeling ”free” and feeling ”better”?

I guess one is sure: that more and more people are so careless, they just want an escape route, and they see things from their perspective only. Welcome to the individualistic 21st century, where people prefer to have freedom, where people prefer to have ”space” where fake truths and opinions are pushed to be an alternate truth, even though there is not such thing as an alternate truth, where people care more about the ”formal” side of love, and they associate love with actions, with how much you show, as if love is a corporate action, where if you don’t impress your manager you fail, and people don’t care about you, as if you have never existed after a while. Welcome to the world of disdain and regression and please don’t enjoy the ride but do something about it, no matter how busy you are. I know I will. And I know that my emotions and feelings will progress once again and with that, the world, even though it will be a very very painful process.