Late morning

What is it, that makes our lives co complicated? Why can only some of us see beyond, and why are only some of us prepare to listen, but not just listen because they were told to but really listen and understand?

As I drinking my late morning coffee I am realising more and more that the crucial confusion nowadays is the lack of balance. People, societies are lacking that balance that will allow them to comprehend problems better and treat problems or details and life better. What kind of a balance is it? It’s a complex idea, that can be described by many differently. For me that balance consists of several ”concepts” like: love (first towards ourselves and then others), happiness that should come through love and not materialistic values and possessions , intelligence (whatever types of it). Now there are surely other ”concepts” that I can’t remember at this moment, but those 3 hold the keys to life, to making it worthy, and liveable. Many might say, but life can be lived in different ways, but is that really the case? Aren’t we all following a very similar path, supervised by many in our lives, that must follow rules, manners, ideas, systems, must respect others (sometimes falsely), otherwise society looks at us differently, it ”condemns” us, and it renders us, different. We are being told that  we have all the freedom to do whatever we want, yet we all tend to follow that similar path, work jobs that we really don’t want, stay in relationships we don’t really feel the need for, be mature, be yourself. So where is the hurdle, where is the switch, from those years where we were told to be ourselves, that we can make everything by ourselves to be similar to others? First of all, the problem in that is that many nowadays believe in that individualism. And yes individualism is needed. But not full. Individualism should not prevail. No matter how hard the system pushes that idea to us. That we have to be responsible for ourselves that our lives are our lives and we are the masters of our ”destiny”. There is not such thing as destiny anyways only different choices. Our lives, from the moments we are born are dependent on others. And it’s in our nature, and it makes us feel better, to be dependent on others. And I am not referring to the financial dependency. I am writing about the bonds that we create form when we are born. Human bonds, emotional bonds that create that beauty in our lives, bonds that without, we are mare unknowns in a vast world. It’s not a coincidence that the thing that brings us the highest joy and happiness in life is when we meet our soulmate. Because she/he can understand us the best. Because through him/her, we share every other bond so far, every experience we have had, every moment of magic of our lives, we combine it with theirs. And we create something. Something unforgettable, something special and endless. But we must not forget, those are not only our experiences, our magic, it’s all of ours. The lessons in life that we learn are combined, and our views are not just our views they are affected. That being said, that’s the first and biggest reason why can we live our lives successfully. The moment we achieve and have that balance with someone we are the people from when we were kids. And we know that we think and we learn the most when we are in that ”state”. Sadly, nowadays rarely someone believes in that. I keep seeing, hearing people that claim that it’s ok to be in open relationships, that there is nothing wrong with that, I keep seeing people that marry just because they want to be socially known and recognised. They pass knowledge, ideas, life, to their kids, and they are busy of it, they are tired, of their lives, they are too busy to dedicate the time they have, that we all have, to teaching their kids valuable lessons, by mainly just being with them. And there it is again, the lack of balance. That again comes through loving and believing in ourselves as people, that again comes from our parents and society, and then loving our one partner that we choose to share our world with. In a world where, people say I love you to each other just for the sake of it, at time where people are so insecure about their lives, about their beauty as people, insecure about their looks, positions in life, at time where they lack motivation, courage, confidence, it’s no coincidence that at that same time, people lack greatly love, and through that balance. All of them are linked, and they can never be broken. Because that is what makes this morning beautiful, that is what makes us people beautiful, the ability to love ourselves, share that love with all, and love that one person that is the person we trust the most from the moment we see them in the void, from the moment we first say hello to them. Balance in all things.

Machines are overrated

We are all becoming more and more aware of the fact, that nowadays, computers, cell phones, tablets are becoming the centre of our lives. Recently I read an article which was a great initiative against this new reality. Namely the article was about a law that France started implementing from this year, that will allow the employees to choose whether they want to check their work emails or check anything related with work on their cellphones past 13:00. The law also allowed the employees that on weekends they don’t have to check anything related with work, and get the necessary break. And furthermore, on vacations they also don’t have to check or manage anything work related. What was the reason behind implementing a law like this? Because a research showed that using cellphones most of the time lowers your productivity, using it when you are home for work, can cause problems in the relationship and with that cause stress.

Now, personally, this is a big step towards forming that balance that in my opinion is hugely lacking. Each day as I am walking somewhere I can see people bury their faces in their screens. Subways, work environment, restaurants, bars, waiting rooms, home, football stadiums etc. Fans of their favourite team are not following their team, but instead they are doing vlogs, watching the game through their little screen, and check their phones constantly instead of enjoying whatever they are watching. I can’t help but notice that and I can’t help but not being highly irritated. One may say, well it’s their lives and they can do whatever they want with them. But as many know, it’s not remotely simple. Our lives are connected, we can’t isolate ourselves. Even the perfect introvert is influenced somehow by the people around him, by the internet or in some other way.

As an optimist, and a perfectionist, I want a balance, I want to create that,  and I can sense that there is a great imbalance nowadays. And I believe that a huge contributor to that imbalance are the machines, and most importantly cell phones. I went to the store several days ago, and as per habit I didn’t bring my cellphone with me. I knew that in the scope of 20-30 minutes, nothing important will change, a message that I might get will be delivered regardless whether I am there or not thanks to my home router. As I entered the store, I noticed a couple checking a list on their cellphone about what to buy. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that. It’s just a utility that makes our lives more efficient. It saves us time. But in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t that add to that addiction? Isn’t that adding to the attachment to our cellphones and technology? Wouldn’t it be better if that couple discussed and had fun choosing things in the store, without having to follow the list. Yes they might have missed couple of items, but I don’t think that is so problematic.

In my opinion we are thinking less and less. And I am writing this hoping I won’t offend anyone, because that is not my intention. We are becoming too reliant on technology. And as most of us know, the Internet was created for a different purpose. It was created because the US Army needed a system with which they can communicate and send files more easily. The cellphones in the 90’s were created for their primary and for me necessary role, and that is to be able to talk with someone. Today, we are all witnesses that that is changing more and more rapidly. And we are becoming more and more attached.

How to balance things out? By going out. Randomly. Right now. By doing something that is not related to the online world. By painting something in the first given moment. By enhancing our creativity. By opening our minds to something new, something out of the everyday routine. By listening to a song that normally we wouldn’t listen. By seeing things around us, like a person with his backpack open walking on the street, and instead of staring at our facebook page at that moment, actually telling him that his backpack is open and helping him. By sitting on the front of some historic monument or a field, and just let our mind be free and remember that precious moment, that will create a memory, a beautiful one which we will remember for the rest of our lives, instead of taking a selfie that we can’t wait to upload so that the others can see it. In that moment it’s not about the others, it’s about us, it’s about our memories, and our adventures, and if the others want to experience it, they can either come with us and enjoy it, or they can wait for the story, because a story is worth more than 1000 pictures.

Unity through diversity

There comes a time in our lives where we think we are different.

And from the moment we start thinking that we are that thought hardly changes, and we do anything to keep it alive, to be distinct, to be an outcast. Whether it is from when we are kids when we realise that we don’t do the same things as the other kids, or when we grow up and realise that we don’t want to be some company puppet, sooner or later we all tend to think that we are diverse, but in fact if all or most think like that, isn’t that making them or all of us normal?

From when I was an early teenager, I started realising more and more how emotionally shallow some people can be. I would realise that in some people without ever knowing them or meeting them, I could tell by their faces that they are troubled, on the outside they would act that everything is fine, and that they understood life as it is, because they have jobs, families, cars, houses whatever, and by the definition of our society, that is more or less the definition of being successful or happy and normal. Yet I could sense a great loneliness in their lives. They would smile, they would come up with jokes, they would use sarcasm to hide their emotions and hide their lives. And I was confused. As a 12 year old when you are first starting to comprehend all of that, and the world around you, you are left thinking, overthinking sometimes what is wrong? Why would anyone not be sincere, or loyal, or wanting the best for themselves and not satisfying with just what is ”right”, satisfy with the fact that they will be just passengers in life, floaters, without any significant distinguishment that will make us recognisable in life, different than the rest, but different in that circle, and at the end normal again, because somebody else in this world is probably thinking the same way as us. I tried to understand but I couldn’t.

I would listen to trance music on my TV whereas all of my friends and all that I know around me, would listen to some pop or something extremely boring. I would watch movies that are serious, that are hard to understand, like The Butterfly Effect, movies that can be hard to grasp for an early teenager. I would read and not party, I was realising more and more that I want something else, something more, something that is different, always root for the underdog, always believe in something extraordinary, never satisfy with the casual, no matter how hard life can be. But the biggest internal confusion and the moment when I realised I was definitely different than the ones around me, came with my first crush.

She approached me initially. I had no idea how to act, how to approach all of it, and after a short period of time she was not interested anymore. When you are only 14 and when you experience that you are saying it’s alright it was just an experience, But what was weird was that I never felt something more. Yes I felt the initial crush, but I just wanted to be a sarcastic jerk and have tease her over anything. As the time passed, my friends around me would talk about their experiences, girls, and girls would talk about boys. I would never find an interest in all of that, because all of that, crush after crush, changing a partner often, was meaningless, it was plain and unimaginable. And others would be amazed, because girls would approach me, and yes I would agree to hang out with them (on the rare occasions when I would agree that is), but I had to quit shortly after. It was never their fault. And yes that is a big cliche, but I didn’t feel anything. Looking back at my old experiences, I started understanding that I never cared for anyone except for my family and myself. I never loved a girl/woman in my life. I had great respect to the ones that loved me, and I tried not to disappoint them and make them feel loved but I could never see the world differently and feel the real beauty of the world. When all or most of the people around me dated and cried and were left out with broken hearts, I was the one that stared at the lights, wondering how are they connected, entering every book store, just to see the books that are on the shelves, going into the library every week to get a new book, staring at the endless fields of grass whenever I took the train, and thinking about a better world, a world where all will be happy and satisfied with one another.

Despite all of that I believed in true love. I had to because I saw it in movies, I read about it in books, and I could listen about it in songs. I could barely notice it in reality, but my inner optimistic always believed. And I would often smile randomly thinking about that one that exists in the world, that would be simple and yet complicated, beautiful in her own way, the one that will capture my heart from the very early beginnings and never let it go.

It all happened fast, it took me off guard. It didn’t start with a look. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was rather love at first read. When I wrote her the first message, she replied with a longer one. And I was surprised. I thought I was the one the writes long messages. I have a tendency to do that. I felt in love with her words. And it was the best feeling in the world. I knew, and I was sure that she can understand me. I asked what does she look like, but I never requested a picture. I knew that she was the most beautiful person I have ever met, and I was relaxed. I finally felt peace. I looked at the birds thinking about her, and I touched the city lamps thinking about her, Because I was happy. I was myself again, and I could feel her presence around me, even if at that moment she was not there. I still didn’t know how she looked like. Her aura trapped mine, and I had built her character. I felt united with her. And I never wanted to let go. When you finally feel that, you know that it’s the best thing that happened to you. That that can never possibly happen again. Because there is only one true love. She was my only true love and still is. I saw life differently, and understood life differently because of her. She started everything and she is the meaning of life. She is the life itself. I realised that if I hadn’t been diverse and if I hadn’t created that world where I don’t satisfy that easily with anything, I wouldn’t have felt any of that maybe.

When I finally hugged her for the first time and became united, I knew that that unity can is greater than anything, it is greater than life, and it is eternal. Because what is eternal will never die.

The wait

It’s another morning, another day that will be better than the previous one.

I am sure of that, because each day we should all strive for becoming a better version of ourselves.   Is it too much to ask for? Is it really that complicated that each day we do something different, we learn something new, we dedicate a minute, an hour to change something about ourselves that will make our lives better, that will improve our lives and bring more happiness and more joy to us and to people that surround us. Maybe some will say, well it’s a pressure, it’s a pressure to be told what to do, not to accept ”normality”, not to accept routine. But isn’t that the point of everything? The Theory of Everything? That we don’t take things for granted, that we escape our habits, and enjoy the beauty that life and this world offers us. Because life is indeed short. Yes we might reincarnate and live another life, and we might have lives many lives before this one, but this one is the one that matters. This one is the one that we have and that we are living every single day.   Why be trapped into the same cube, within the same walls, and within the same borders, within the same box? The funny thing is that people believe in the idea of democracy, that they are free and that their lives are at their best, when in fact they have to deal with stress daily, with going to the same work (which they probably don’t like), meeting the same people, going on the same vacation (not the same place) year after year, staring at their phones first thing in the morning instead of looking up at the sky, or looking at the face of their partners, and smile at them. So what is all of that if not some really weird and twisted illusion of freedom that people have. And the sad part is people actually like all of it. They have accepted that that is their reality. To be controlled by themselves. Maybe it’s easier to be controlled and live in that bubble, but life is hard, and it’s an adventure, it’s a challenge, and when we grow old, the first thing that we remember are our experiences., we reassemble our memories  and construct stories, stories that we tell our grand kids, or some other kid, and make their days positive, and make them smile. We don’t tell them how good our browsing experience was when we used our phones. We don’t tell them how many comments our Youtube channel had today, or how many pictures we uploaded today that received more than 50 likes. But it takes virtue to construct those stories. And the key for that and my word for today is patience. It takes time to enjoy those experiences first and dedicate time to really enjoy them when we were younger. What I am trying to say is that for many things we should wait. The waiting part makes the outcome of anything more beautiful, more intense, and more worth. It makes us think, it gives us ideas, we construct outcomes, and scenarios, and who knows, maybe because of those ideas and mental labyrinths that we access, maybe an idea arises and its created. Ideas are not born by filling our minds with loads and loads of unnecessary information each day, from media, to our jobs, to browsing the internet. As most may know, the Harry Potter books were created by Rowling being in a train, and just brain storming. That wait, where we allow our mind to enjoy and we give it freedom, is everything. Yes the 21st century is ore stressful than every, and yes things are set up in that way where we are confined by many factors, but we must do something to escape those chains, and make all of our lives better, not just ours. Because we are the architects or our lives and of our future. And for that we need to wait, and be patient and everything will be worth at the end. No matter what the outcome is. We will know that it’s the right outcome and the one that we have thought about and created and not some forced outcome.

 

 

 

 

 

15th, better than 14th of February

As I am opening my eyes and choosing what song of The Killers I will listen to, The Killers because trance songs are too hard to listen to first thing in the morning, I realise that I feel better than I felt in a long time. It’s probably because I am still under the effects of yesterday’s mood, but whatever it is I have to embrace it and keep it.

Life is a strange roller coaster. It’s the moments that make it beautiful, that we all seem to be forgetting nowadays. It’s the love that we share daily, with ourselves and the ones around us, the moments that we spent with our friends, our families, it’s the pictures that we pain each day, the code that we will write today, the story that we will publish,  the sound of the passing train as it up shows up again in the same place as yesterday, with the same delay as yesterday. And yet for most of the people nowadays that is not enough. They understand life as a materialistic uprise. If they don’t get what they desire, life doesn’t make sense to them. If they don’t secure themselves a good house, an apartment, a big yard, a new cell phone, with 0.02 bigger inch than their previous one, they are grumpy and unsatisfied, they feel lost, and pressured, demotivated, and depressed. Is it their fault, if it is fault? Not necessarily. It all starts from when we are kids, being raised in a too generic way. To follow rules, to finish on time, to be someone who we don’t want to be, and not just that but like that person that we become. To become more open, even if there is nothing wrong with being introverted, to finish school, and not just any school but a prestigious one, a worthy one, one that will put us above the others on the materialistic ladder of the 21st century, to celebrate days of love on specific dates and not celebrate love every single day, to visit a doctor when we suffer from being lonely and we have depression, instead of turning to ourselves and the ones around us. The weird part is that most of the people now are living like that, and they are convincing themselves that that is the way it should be, the only way. Staring at their cell phones all the time, that became the reality of the 21st century, avoid the emotions and trap yourself into a virtual world, and be happy with it, be happy with the number of likes, comments, views that their picture will have today, be happy with watching unnecessary shows and movies, just to escape from their stress that their life brings.

People must realise that love is the key for everything, love is what binds everything together, and through love we can achieve everything. And love must be celebrated every day, as much as we can, and never ever put aside. Nurtured, and cherished. Not just on a day set up by some society or culture. 15th of February is different than the 14th, because today people talk about what they bought to their partners, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, instead of loving more, repeating the same thing today as well if possible. I am doing exactly that, I am thinking about her more than I did yesterday. I love her more today than I loved her yesterday. Because I know that every day I love her more and more. And I know that each day, I wake up thinking of her smile, and eyes. And that is what keeps me going, not the song of The Killers that I listened to, as my first song today. She is my everything, and knowing that she is still in love with me today, and I am still in love with her more and more, makes this day better than the previous day, and the day before that, and the day before that. She is real and she is the only thing that I truly care for.

Knowing that on the 15th and loving her more today, makes 15th better than 14th.

Nonsense?

Have you ever questioned yourself how all of this doesn’t make any sense? Have you ever wondered why are we doing all of this from day 1? These might be usual questions and surely many at some point in their lives asked themselves the same things. Many also will say that we should appreciate life. But actually nobody tells us why we should appreciate it. There isn’t any guide, there isn’t any manual nor book of life that tells us that. Don’t get me wrong, that kind of book shouldn’t exist. And even if it is it shouldn’t be available. Every person should learn by themselves, that is one of the main beauties in life. Freedom. Freedom for everything. Freedom to live how we want, and learn from our mistakes and build on that however we want. Democracy, a word that many nowadays cherish so much and worship. A system built by people like me and you, to make our lives better, to bring peace, equality and multiculturalism. It’s the 21st century, society in the past 50 years evolved like never before, and I am sure that it won’t stop. But as everything in life, nothing is errorless. It has to have a bug. Many might agree with me on this, many might not, but that together with this book, together with the money we make, the houses that we are building, our existence, are most likely irrelevant. If all of that is irrelevant, what is indeed relevant in our not so long timeline? Another simple question for many, another question on which honestly there should be a simple answer. But if life was simple, then people wouldn’t be successful we would’ve all lived this dull lives filled with normality and simplicity. Are you, reading this confusing and pointless book on your e-reader, cell phone, computer, tablet, holding my book in your hands, ever wonder what is the balance in this rapid, agile and complicated era? Why are we becoming slaves more and more to the government, to society, to the people that we love, to the system? Something that wasn’t that noticeable before, now it becomes clearer with every passing day, with every new ‘revelation’, with every new discovery. Another of the series of questions would be, why are we blindly allowing becoming these modern slaves? Is it really worth? Some might treat me as a hypocrite here, with right. I am writing about freedom and democracy in the previous paragraph, and now I am saying that we are becoming slaves more and more. That can be explained. Maybe not easily, but nothing in life is easy, wherever you go. I will start by stating that our whole life is a paradox, an illusion and a faux. Not so straightforward start. Indeed. Everything that we know of doesn’t actually mean much. We started by being primitive. We invented useful tools, we created so much, buildings, sculptures, we invented art, we invented astronomy etc. And I can’t deny that all of that is a part of why we should exist. We should always tend to improve ourselves, to improve our kids, our better half and to try to justify our existence. Otherwise why are we living? We surely can’t remain still and do the same things all over again, without any variation.

Each one of us, me, you, the cashier at the supermarket, the CEO of the bank where are money are deposited now, were probably happy. We experienced this wonderful feeling where we feel like a kid, where we feel careless, where our problems are for a moment forgotten, and they disappear from our minds. And we want that moment to last forever. We want to capture that moment. I am talking about remembering it, not digitalizing it and publishing it online where it becomes exposed, and where we become open. But then, what is wrong with that? Is there anything wrong?

We know that things nowadays become more and more exposed, we share more and more as people, and we reveal more and more of our intimacy. Our lives are shaped in this way that we have the freedom to publish whatever we want, to publish it using our dear Internet, and that makes us happy. That makes us satisfied. We live in a society where people are more proud of themselves and they appreciate themselves more if they receive more likes on their pictures and if they have more friends on whatever social crap there is. We live in a society where our lives are constantly at risk. Have you ever wondered that while using the subway, train, using a plane, we are exposing our lives constantly and we put our lives at risk? And the worst part is that we have to live with that. We have to trust banks, pilots, subway network, people that constructed all of them that there won’t be errors, and that they don’t mess something up that day. We as people are becoming more and more complicated, and most of the times we can’t process all of that. Our minds are still not evolved to process all of the data that surrounds us, all of the stress that we have to deal with, all of our fears, all of our problems, managing them, take care of our health, take care of our family, morals, norms, learn new things every day, remember them, and pass our knowledge onto a new generation, that we hope will appreciate that knowledge and upgrade it. And in the middle of all of that, which is just a small part of the activities that we are responsible for daily, we have to find happiness and love. So what is really the paradox of the 21st century? People were happier in the past. Yes, this comes from a complete stranger which is an unknown like we all are to this world. But we have so many things, we invented all of these exciting inventions, we created products that will help us. Then why when you go out you can notice more and more unhappy faces? Why people are showing each other the finger on the street? Why should I witness that and be a part of that unpleasant daily situation? But hey, as I already said, democracy, we have our comfort zone, and we can do whatever we want in this comfort zone of ours, within the boundaries. We shrink more and more into our comfort zone and despite sharing more and more of our life on the social media, we’ve lost our ability to communicate in real lives. Our main tool of understanding and sharing knowledge taken away, because of the rapidness and because of the growth of the system. We rather stay home, talking to a complete stranger over the Internet about our problems with whatever alter ego we present to him/her, then going out with our friends, family and sharing whatever problems we have with them and ask them for help. We became so afraid to ask for help and the saddest thing is that when we do, we pay a complete stranger (yes a shrink with a prestigious degree is still a stranger, because each life is unique and our lives shouldn’t be a template), to listen to us, and to make us happier and make our life better over 36 sessions in the next 2 months. People were happier in the past also because everything was more original. We lived in this zeitgeist where people could relate easier to one another, and where they could listen or watch something that was original and creative. I am not saying that people are not original or not creative now. I am just saying that society is declining, and the system forces us to live in this illusion and think that it’s expanding and upgrading. It is declining in a sense that more and more people are not doing the things they like. Our movie industry lacks ideas. Our music industry must follow the trend. Our TV and TV show, all similar to one another. Our lives, similar to one another. Take the TV-show Breaking Bad for example. It had to end in such a way in which all the bad things in the show had to be ceased, because it has to be acceptable by the public, it had to end like that because otherwise, it might teach us a lesson that bad things are allowed.

Another example, movies. The most popular genre is sci-fi. As if Hollywood learned the recipe for making money, film a story about something that is not real, let the audience imagine, add special effects, add superheroes and you have a successful franchise. Why should they change if it is successful? Why should the music producers stop experimenting with their music, when more and more public likes experiments and ‘modern’ music? Elements of different styles. Diversity. Less words. Better video. More viewers. Less originality. But it works.

This hoax somehow works. How does it work? It remains a mystery to me.